Day 303 - This is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

Sadly, yet again no costume for me. It's been at least 10 or so years since I dressed up, thinking I'm long overdue. Trying to plan ahead for next year, need to come up with something major for next year. Suggestions? I want something iconic, memorable and awesome without being slutty (sexy is good, slutty is bad)!

1. Hope everyone enjoys today!! Check out the revamped lists page I'm working on!

Day 295 - Sinking

Not entirely sure how one goes to an amazing concert, by one of their favorite bands for the last 20 years, and leave feeling elated and utterly depressed at the same time. And yet, somehow I managed this odd mix of emotion on monday night, after an incredible Pearl Jam concert.

The main thorn in my ass seems to be the desire to accomplish something great, that moves other people. I'm not picturing crowds screaming in front of me, as I can't sing. Writing could be an outlet, I think I'm decent when I try but being a successful author isn't easy by any means.

Maybe I'm stuck in my teenage years, back in the daydream of wanting to do something of note with my life. I need to just try, despite the voice in my head telling me that everyone goes through this phase, I should just shut up and get in line with my 9-5 and deal with it like everyone else.

Day 292 - Growing through

As much as I love architecture and the built environment, I also love to see nature growing back through the ruins of an abandoned building. As necessary as they are in today's society, I've always thought of highways as scars on Nature, cutting paths across her to suit the needs of mankind while disregarding other creatures or life. Of all the things mankind has overtaken, Nature may just have the power to return the favor.

Trees taking root in the cracks of a crumbling foundation, reaching towards the light streaming through a broken roof. Vines crawling over the bricks of a half demolished wall or overtaking power lines that pollute the green backdrop of a wooded area.

In fact, I've an unfinished tattoo that was supposed to represent this dichotomy - it was supposed to be a wrought iron fence with a vine twisting through it, but the line work is terrible. Looking to have it covered in a larger design of the same theme or changing out the wrought iron to gears and cogs with vines.

day 290 - peel back a layer

I've tried like hell to explain this, the thought there is some emotionally grandeur life behind the mask of monotony and everyday. That unknown for will read this and be awestruck...not so much, huh? Regular girl trying to cope in a somewhat normal manor? What do I know pf pain, of loss..I know enough to tuck that aside and focus on daily life...hardest loss I've dealt with fits in like lost puzzle piece....so many of us knew his true shape, but it was all too late..rip Andy

Day 285 - On a positive note

I guess I'm finally willing to fess up as to why some of my goals have been so slow to come to fruition - I just don't have the money to pay for the shooting lessons or Crossfit membership right now. Work in progress though, I'll get there eventually.

After reflecting this weekend, I've realized that since I've made this move I have become a much more patient person. The first leg of my move was really stressful and I was a pretty miserable person to be around. Now that I've settled though, I'm much more calm and can empathize a lot more with the people in my life.

I think the change is setting helped me a lot, not being around so many, for lack of better word, toxic people, has helped me grow to this point. Of course I'm not all patience and calm, still have my moments that I wish the rest of humanity would just stay away.

Day 281 - research

Last weekend I went to a screening of the original zombie movie that started it all, 'Night of the Living Dead,' in one of the largest and most historic cemeteries in the Philly area. Pretty amazing night - planning to take a couple tours through that cemetery to learn a bit more. Edgar Allen Poe lived in Philly for about 6 years and wrote some of his classics here - the cemetery has a tour devoted to Poe.

I digress...really enjoyed the movie for 2 reasons. 1) Ben is the original zombie fighting badass. 2) Wow am I happy female characters have moved away from the Barbras and Judys!

Day 280 - thanks for your cooperation

Chronic illness would defiantly be a big factor for survivors, almost an added bonus level to the 'survival of the fittest.'

Seems my own chronic health issue is giving me fits the last couple weeks - nothing serious, recurring bouts of mono, but a problem nonetheless. A nice big fuck you to the germies in my system that demand I sleep at least 8-9 hours a nght, wake up feeling exhausted, and need to have enough energy to drive home from work without falling asleep behind the wheel.

No, please, make yourself at home. It's not as if I have plans to workout as often as possible or finally get around to some of my other goals.